Being a parent is tough, and sometimes it can feel like trying to climb a mountain with a ten-ton weight on your shoulders when a toddler won’t cooperate. But sometimes we just need to see the little wins for what they are—a win!

My little boy has been asking to buy a blue scooter so he can ride just like his big sister does. With summer right around the corner, I decided this was probably the perfect time to encourage him to learn.

After buying his scooter, we returned home. I needed to take a parcel to the post office nearby, so it was a great opportunity to let him ride for the first time.
He was really excited and eager to set off. He even told me not to help when I anxiously hovered my hands in case he wobbled.

Silly mummy, he had this, didn’t I know?

He was understandably slow, but he rode it most of the way, with only a little support. Not helped by the poorly maintained paths where we live—the paving slabs are really uneven in places.

My daughter had already had an unfortunate face plant on her scooter when riding this path, so even when she rides, I find myself cautiously keeping her steady on the bumpier bits.
As awful as it was, it proved to be a valuable lesson for her about why we must always wear a helmet. Had she not been wearing it, she would have broken her nose, for sure.

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We made it to the post office, and I explained to my little boy that he couldn’t ride the scooter in the shop. He must get off and walk nicely, which he did without too much fuss and an acknowledging “Okay, mummy.”
However, once we entered the shop and were stuck in a boring queue, waiting for a member of staff to be free, he wanted to ride his scooter again and tried his hardest to get back on it.

Understandably, for a two-year-old, waiting even a minute seems like a lifetime, so the tantrum began. I kept my cool, although I was sure that my face was becoming flushed. I don’t like people noticing me at the best of times, so when my toddler/child is creating a scene and drawing attention, I just want to crawl in a cave and hide.
After what felt like a lifetime, we were finally served by the member of staff, and my son actually stopped creating and behaved as good as gold until we left the shop, which was a relief.

When we got out of the shop, however, the biggest meltdown of all began. We needed to return home, so I steered him back the way we came.
Out of nowhere, he tried to turn the scooter around, becoming distraught and bursting into tears.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. It’s possible that walking back the way we came is not acceptable to him. Or perhaps he thought we were going somewhere else, or he just didn’t want to go home so soon. But unfortunately, this time, I needed to get us home quickly to put a chicken in the oven for dinner.

I suppose in hindsight it wasn’t the best time to let him ride the scooter for the first time, but at the same time, he needed an opportunity to have a go on it.

From there and most of the way home, he refused to walk or ride the scooter. In my stubbornness, I scooped him up, picked up the scooter, and marched home with him protesting in my arms.
He is getting quite heavy for me to carry now, so I kept trying to encourage him to either ride the scooter or at least stand on it so I could pull him home. He was having none of it.

What was a super exciting adventure, riding his new scooter, became yet another difficult journey home—and we only live around the corner.

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When we finally arrived at home, the mood unfortunately carried on, and this is one of those times when I probably should have picked my battles.

My son was hungry again. At lunch time, he hadn’t really entertained the cheese wrap that he’d agreed to eat.
After the fact, it occurred to me that it possibly wasn’t the right block of cheese that he liked. He can be quite particular with what he will and won’t eat at the moment.

We finally settled on a snack for him to eat, but I wanted him to sit at the kitchen table; he was insistent that he was going to sit in the lounge watching Numberblocks instead.
But of course, me being me, and still feeling somewhat stressed from the walk home, I stuck to my guns and said no—I’d asked him to sit at the table and he could watch Numberblocks after he’d finished his food.

Well… at least ten minutes later, the meltdown was still in full swing. Tears streaming down his face. How dare I not let him eat his food whilst watching his favourite programme. The big emotions were definitely out in the open.

I offered him hugs and tried to console him enough to find us some calm, but realised I’d made my bed, so I had to just carry on with the no TV rule. I mean, if it’s a snack, I’m usually not too bothered by TV. It’s meal times where I draw the line. But I guess, to him, his food was merely a snack.
Although he’d rejected it earlier, in his eyes, he’d eaten his lunch.

He calmed enough for me to begin washing up before dinner prep, and he started playing with a toy. It was only a short while later that I realised he’d edged nearer to his food, which he had abandoned in a bowl on the chair.
I slowly took a step closer to see if he was finally eating, and to my delight, he was sat on the chair in the living room, munching away on his food; the TV was long forgotten.

Shortly after I thought he had finished his food, I went in to act as I had promised, to put Numberblocks on the TV for him, only to realise he still had a few bites left.

I braced myself as I slowly lowered the remote—or “clicker” as it is now called in our house. Thanks, Nanny, lol!—praying that the meltdown wouldn’t resume. And do you know what… the little star sat there and munched away happily on his last few bites.

He then bounded into the kitchen, placed his bowl in the sink as requested, with another little “Okay, mummy”, and returned to have his hands wiped.

He was happy once again, sitting comfortably watching Numberblocks, like it had never happened.

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Reflections

I think, often, we don’t realise just how strong our resilience is when it comes to riding the wave of emotions from our little ones. At the time, our shoulders tense, the stress levels rise, and if you’re anything like me, you find it hard to shake that feeling off when the moment has passed.

Our toddlers and children are amazing reminders that in order to heal an emotion, we have to feel an emotion. ( I heard that quote somewhere, but me being me, I’ve completely forgotten where. Probably on one of the many podcasts I listen to.)
He was upset with me; I made him go the wrong way after the post office and then I wouldn’t let him watch his favourite TV programme. He’s two and a half years old; in his world that was a huge deal and after hugging it out, allowing him to feel and move through the emotions, we reached a peaceful end.

I don’t always react the right way. I know I can be a tad hot-headed and stubborn, so when I say something, like impose a rule, I tend to stick to my guns and will not be swayed, no matter the tantrum.
I did, however, manage to show him that mummy meant what she had said, so when he finished his food, he was then able to watch his favourite programme.

Another thing I try to keep in mind is that despite how hard it is to parent my strong-willed child, I know that what is difficult now will make a brilliant quality for them later in life.

So to sum up, when toddlers, children (or even adults) experience big emotions, just remember the little wins.

Even if you don’t see it now, one day you’ll hopefully look back and think, wow, that did make a difference.