Tag: life

Being a parent is tough and sometimes it can feel like trying to climb a mountain with a ten ton weight on your shoulders, when a toddler is just not willing to cooperate. But sometimes we just need to see the little wins for what they are; a win!

My little boy has been asking to buy a blue scooter, so he can ride just like his big sister does and seeing as though we are soon to be entering the beginning of summer, I decided this was probably the perfect time to allow him to learn. He does have a Paw Patrol scooter, but we found that with it having two wheels at the back, rather than at the front, he struggles to be able to ride it.

After buying his scooter, we returned home. I needed to take a parcel to the post office nearby, so it was a great opportunity to let him have a little ride on his new scooter.
He was really excited and eager to set off. He even told me not to help when I anxiously hovered my hands in case he wobbled.
Silly mummy, he had this, didn’t I know?

He was slow on it, but he rode it most of the way to the post office, with only a little help as the paths where we live are so poorly managed, the paving slabs are really uneven in places. My daughter had already had an unfortunate face plant on her scooter when riding this path, so even with her I find myself cautiously keeping them steady on the bumpier bits.
As awful as it was, it did prove to be a valuable lesson to her why we must always wear a helmet, because had she not worn it she would have broken her nose, for sure.

If you hadn’t noticed by now, I do get a little off topic sometimes lol! Back to the topic at hand.

We made it to the post office and I explained to my little boy that he couldn’t ride the scooter in the shop. He must get off and walk nicely, which he did without too much fuss and an acknowledging “Okay, mummy.”
However, once we entered the shop and were stuck in a boring queue, waiting for a member of staff to be free, he wanted to ride his scooter again and tried his hardest to get back on it.

Understandably, for a two year old, waiting even a minute seems like a lifetime, so the paddy began. I held my cool, sure that my face was becoming flushed. I don’t like people to notice me at the best of times, so when my toddler/child is creating and drawing attention, I just want to crawl in a cave and hide.
We were finally served by the member of staff and my son actually stopped creating and behaved as good as gold until we left the shop, which was a relief.
When we got out of the shop, however, the biggest meltdown of all began. We needed to return home, so I steered him back the way we came. Out of nowhere he began trying to turn the scooter around and he became distraught and suddenly started crying.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. It’s possible that walking back the way we came is not acceptable to him. Or perhaps he thought we were going somewhere else, or that maybe he just didn’t want to go home so soon. But unfortunately, this time, I needed to get us home again pretty quick to put a chicken in the oven for dinner.

I suppose in hindsight it wasn’t the best time to let him ride the scooter for the first time, but at the same time, he needed an opportunity to have a go on it.

From there and most of the way home, he refused to walk or ride the scooter. In utter refusal to turn around, I scooped him up, picked up the scooter, and marched home with him protesting in my arms. He is getting quite heavy now for me to carry, so I kept trying to encourage him to either ride the scooter or stand on it so I could pull him home. He was having none of it.

What was a super exciting adventure, riding his new scooter, became yet another difficult journey home.

When we finally arrived at home, the mood unfortunately carried on and this is one of those times when I probably should have picked my battles.

My son was hungry again. At lunch time, he hadn’t really entertained the cheese wrap that he’d agreed to eat.
After the fact, it occurred to me that it possibly wasn’t the right block of cheese that he liked. He can be quite particular with what he will and won’t eat, at the moment.

We finally settled on something for him to eat, but I wanted him to sit at the kitchen table, however, he was insistent that he was going to sit in the lounge and eat whilst watching Numberblocks.
But of course, me being me, still feeling somewhat stressed from the walk home, I stuck to my guns and said no. I’d asked him to sit at the table and that he could watch Numberblocks after he’d finished his food.
Well… at least 10 mins later, the meltdown was still in full swing. Tears streaming down his face. How dare I not let him eat his food whilst watching his favourite program. The big emotions were definitely out in the open.

I offered him hugs, tried to console him enough to find some calm, but realised I’d made my bed, so I had to just carry on with the no TV rule. I mean, if it’s a snack, I’m usually not too bothered by TV. It’s meal times where I draw the line. But I guess, to him, his food was merely a snack.
Although he’d rejected it, in his eyes he’d eaten his lunch.

He calmed enough for me to begin washing up before dinner prep and he began to play with a toy. It was only a short while later, I realised he’d edged nearer to his food, which he had abandoned in a bowl on the chair.
I slowly took a step closer to see if he was finally eating and to my delight he was actually sat on the chair in the living room, munching away on his food; the TV was long forgotten.

Shortly after I thought he had finished his food. I went in to act as I had promised, to put Numberblocks on the TV for him, when he had finished eating, only to realise he still had a few bites left. I braced myself as I slowly lowered the remote (or “clicker” as it is now called in our house. Thanks Nanny lol!) praying that the meltdown wouldn’t resume and do you know what… the little star sat there munched away happily on his last few bites. He then bounded into the kitchen, placed his bowl in the sink as requested with another little “Okay, mummy” and returned to have his hands wiped.

He was happy once again, sitting comfortably watching Numberblocks, like it had never happened.

Reflections

I think, often, we don’t realise just how strong our resilience is when it comes to riding the wave of emotions from our little ones. At the time, our shoulders tense, the stress levels rise and if you’re anything like me, I find it hard to shake that feeling off when the moment has passed.

Our toddlers and children are amazing examples that in order to heal an emotion, we have to feel an emotion. ( I heard that quote somewhere, but me being me, I’ve completely forgotten where. Probably on one of the many podcasts I listen to.)
He was upset with me; I made him go the wrong way after the post office and then I wouldn’t let him watch his favourite TV program. He’s two and a half years old; in his world that was a huge deal and after hugging it out, allowing him to feel and get through the emotions, we reached a peaceful end.

I don’t always react the right way. I know I can be a tad hot headed and stubborn, so when I say something, like impose a rule, I tend to stick to my guns and will not be swayed, no matter the paddy.
I did, however, manage to show him that mummy meant what she had said so when he finished his food he was then able to watch his favourite program.

Another thing I try to keep in mind, is that despite how hard it is to parent my strong willed child, I know that what is difficult now will make a brilliant quality for my child, later in life.

So to sum up, when life with a toddler or child(or even on occasion the adults) have big emotions, just remember the little wins.
That even if you don’t see it now, one day you’ll hopefully look back and think, wow that did make a difference.